Dead Man´s Diary

1. Beast In The Backseat

Beast In The Backseat

I’m hiding in the darkest corner of your mind
I’m in the backseat but I can take control of the way you drive
you can turn your back on me but I won’t disappear
you can try to run away but I am always near

I’ll follow you like a shadow
wherever you go I’ll go

every moment when you feel convinced that you are strong
I’m gonna reach out for your broken soul to prove you wrong
I will torture you with doubt and I will teach you fear
I will make you lose your mind cause I’m in your eyes and ears

the more you try to fight back
the stronger I get
just give up resistance
and try to forget
the days you felt careless
cause they won’t come back

I am the voice inside your head
that makes you wish that you were dead
I am the thought of self-destruction
I’m the rope around your neck

I am the cloud that shades your soul
the fear of failure that controls you
I’m the flame and you’re the fuel
my name is „evil“ I’m with you

I’ll follow you like a shadow
wherever you go I’ll go
and this is a bond that you can’t break
cause I am a part of you

there were days when you really thought that you were running free
but I own you and now it’s time to get down on your knees
much worse than something bad is something good being taken away
I’ve taken everything you had and all that’s left is pain

the more you try to fight back
the stronger I get
just give up resistance
and try to forget
the days you felt careless
cause they won’t come back

I am the voice inside your head
that makes you wish that you were dead
I am the thought of self-destruction
I’m the rope around your neck

I am the cloud that shades your soul
the fear of failure that controls you
I’m the flame and you’re the fuel
my name is „evil“ I’m with you

2. Paragon Of Imperfection

Paragon Of Imperfection

okay that’s close enough
you better stay where you are now
cause I don’t want you to get lost
in the abyss of my soul

that’s close enough
I may seem shining from the distance
like a bonfire in the dark
but I will burn you if you ever get

close enough
this is the point of no return
and I’m about
to teach you lessons you don’t want to learn

tell me can you feel it
as it slowly takes control of your reason
(can you feel it)
tell me can you feel it
erasing everything that once had a meaning
(can you feel it)

better turn your back on me
you’re not getting what you see
trouble trouble in disguise
I will mess up all your life

better turn your back on me
you’re not getting what you see
trouble trouble in disguise
I will mess up all your life

that’s close enough
I’m not the one you think I am
you better trust me and my words
before I make you understand

that’s close enough
I cannot give you what you need
I may awaken your desire
but all I do is make believe

you’re close enough
to see the flaws beneath my mask
this paragon of imperfection
is what you will never have
what you will never have

tell me can you feel it
as it slowly takes control of your reason
(can you feel it)
tell me can you feel it
erasing everything that once had a meaning
(can you feel it)

can you feel it

can you feel it

3. Demon In Disguise

Demon In Disguise

she’s got the charm of a small town girl
and a face god blessed with perfection
your hands get sweaty and your heart skips a beat
as she’s moving in your direction

and everybody knows anywhere she goes
she is the center of attention
you would give anything
for her to look at you
you never felt so close to heaven
oh don’t fall don’t fall for her
even if she’s beautiful

she is perfect
perfect if you’re superficial
shiny like a distant treasure
she is perfect
perfect
you will be her victim
wishing it would last forever

she’s a queen at night
young and wild
a goddess till she’s hit
by the next day’s light
she knows how to make
you lose your mind
she is a demon in disguise

demon demon
demon demon

she comes with a smile and a whole
lot of trouble but the glance of her eyes
is blinding yours
a drunk man’s mind’s just a slave to desire
and lust is mistaken for love

you don’t understand
a single word she says
but you read her lips with pleasure
the only thing you know
is you don’t wanna miss
a single chance for this adventure
oh don’t fall don’t fall for her
even if she’s beautiful

she looks like an angel
but she give you hell
you’re stupid and faithful
caught under her spell

she is perfect
perfect if you’re superficial
shiny like a distant treasure
she is perfect
perfect
you will be her victim
wishing it would last forever

she’s a queen at night
young and wild
a goddess till she’s hit
by the next day’s light
she knows how to make
you lose your mind
she is a demon in disguise

4. Start All Over

Start All Over

I feel ashamed
to be a part of the human race
I think we failed
cause I am sure we’re not supposed to kill ourselves
we got everything we need but we are slaves
we have gone too far our wealth became a cage

somehow we’re made to believe that we were safe
but if we keep our guns then peace is just a phase
I can’t believe that we’re too dumb to make a change
though it’s clear to see we’ve lost our way

believe me
this is the calm before the storm

we gotta set it on fire
set it all on fire
burn it all down
burn it all down to the ground
so we can start all over
we need to start all over

cause we’ve ignored the warning signs
for too long
we’re all to blame no one is innocent

I feel betrayed
cause we prayed for peace and all we got was hate
cause we’re told our words could really cause a change
if we are capable of learning from mistakes
then how could we evolve to such a big disgrace

why are we told to keep the promises we make
when we are lead by those who always used to break them
we are so blind we will be wiped out by ourselves
we’ll disappear much faster than we came

believe me
this is the calm before the storm

we gotta set it on fire
set it all on fire
burn it all down
burn it all down to the ground
so we can start all over
we need to start all over

cause we’ve ignored the warning signs
for too long
we need to start all over

we were foolish we were blind
time has come to pay the price
for our mistakes
we need to start all over

5. Never

Never

I don’t really care about what you think I should be
and all your thoughts they don’t mean anything to me
who do think you are you’re sounding like a fool
nobody’s gonna tell me what to do

you will never
tell me what to believe no
you will never
tell me who to be no
you will never
control my self-esteem no
you will never
get me down on my knees no

you threw your dreams away
cause you were too afraid
I don’t need your advice
cause I would rather die than live your life

you took the easy way
now deal with your mistakes
I don’t think I need your help
but I will call you once I wanna learn to fail

for all the choices that you made
for all the times you went astray
for leaving everything to fate
this is the price you have to pay

now you are trapped and can’t escape
though you just wanted to feel safe
you spend your nights lying awake
cause you can’t sleep in the bed you made

no you don’t know anything about me
you haven’t seen the things that I have seen
you haven’t been like me before you grew up
yeah I’m pretty sure you’ve always been a loser

you will never
tell me what to believe no
you will never
tell me who to be no
you will never
control my self-esteem no
you will never
get me down on my knees no

you threw your dreams away
cause you were too afraid
I don’t need your advice
cause I would rather die than live your life

you took the easy way
now deal with your mistakes

6. Walls Around My Soul

Walls Around My Soul

I can see your disappointment
you can keep it to yourself
cause I never made any promises
didn’t pretend to be someone else

what do you expect from me
why should I be acting like a fool
tearful eyes always look so innocent
but that ain’t gonna make me fall for you

so don’t look at me this way
cause I’m sick sick sick of it

I’ve been paying for believing
in the lies that I’ve been told
for my faith and for my hopes
I’ve had enough

if it’s human to be hurtful
then I’m better off alone
building walls around my soul
these walls are now my home

pain can turn a man into someone else
change the way he sees the world
take me as I am or leave me alone
too late to take control of the past

I’ve been lied to I’ve been hurt
say what you want but it’s all just words
I know this ain’t what you deserve
sometimes damage can’t be reversed

you will never really know me
like I will never really trust in you
don’t you blame me for my honesty
I’m not mean I just tell you the truth

so don’t look at me this way
cause I’m sick sick sick of it
so don’t look at me this way
cause I’m sick sick sick of it

I’ve been paying for believing
in the lies that I’ve been told
for my faith and for my hopes
I’ve had enough

if it’s human to be hurtful
then I’m better off alone
building walls around my soul
these walls are now my home

7. Everything I Am

Everything I Am

is there a plan
is there a golden thread
cause I could use
something that I can hold on to

should I give up
before I even tried
should I believe
or should I not even ask about it

why am I here
who am I meant to be
should I decide
or should I wait for destiny

am I supposed
to make a real change
or am I born
to witness the end of the world

here I stand questioning
everything I am
I need someone’s help
cause I lose myself
in my thoughts again

wake me up
pull me out
of the hole I’m in
give me a little sign what I do is right
or I’ll lose my mind

all my thoughts of love and life
they won’t let me sleep at night
I search for truth with bloodshot eyes
I need answers to survive

I close my eyes
and bury my head in my hands
like I always did

I close my eyes
and bury my head in my hands
like I always will

I tell myself I’ll fail
I’m my own worst enemy
I’m standing in my own way
my thoughts are killing me

why do I doubt

I tell myself
that I’m not good enough
ignoring all the words of true appreciation

am I too blind
to see what’s going on
why do I doubt though I’m getting so much affirmation

what if I fail
what if I disappoint
everyone
I wanted to be proud of me

I need a rest
my thoughts are killing me
I fade with every breath I take

here I stand questioning
everything I am
I need someone’s help
cause I lose myself
in my thoughts again

wake me up
pull me out
of the hole I’m in
give me a little sign what I do is right
or I’ll lose my mind

all my thoughts of love and life
they won’t let me sleep at night
I search for truth with bloodshot eyes
I need answers to survive

I close my eyes
and bury my head in my hands
like I always did

I close my eyes
and bury my head in my hands
like I always will

8. The Ones You Made Us

The Ones You Made Us

a thousand dead bodies
washed up on the shore
telling a story
you can’t deny anymore

what is your purpose
how do you think this will end
when this war is over
you’ll be the king of no man’s land

let us die by thirst or let us drown
we’re the ones you made us
burn our houses shoot us down
we’re the ones you made us
kill until your lies come true
we’re the ones you made us
you will pay for what you do cause
we’re the ones you made us

we are the voice of reason
you won’t silence us with pain
we bear the consequences
everytime you make a mistake

we kill and die
for a truth you try to hide from us
we spend our lives
losing what we thought was faith or trust

we’ve reached the boiling point
and you’re still fueling the fire

let us die by thirst or let us drown
we’re the ones you made us
burn our houses shoot us down
we’re the ones you made us
kill until your lies come true
we’re the ones you made us
you will pay for what you do cause
we’re the ones you made us

you should have shown some respect
now you’re running
from those you’re supposed to protect

now you are running
now you are running
now you are running
now you are running

there’s no chance this won’t backfire
you promised peace but practice war
you better watch your back
the next time that we raise our guns

the mood has changed
and you’re the ones to blame
go hide away
and beware of what you made of us

we’ve reached the boiling point
now get into the water

let us die by thirst or let us drown
we’re the ones you made us
burn our houses shoot us down
we’re the ones you made us
kill until your lies come true
we’re the ones you made us
you will pay for what you do cause
we’re the ones you made us

9. My Purpose

My Purpose

I know your thoughts before you speak
cause I remember every single time
you bothered me

say whatever you want me to hear
but I’m walking through a tunnel
with my hands put on my ears

let’s see how far you get
with your eyes on someone else

you can hate me
hate me
hate me
you will never bring me down
but you can try your best
you can hate me
hate me
hate me
you’re not the only one around
and I couldn’t care less

I don’t need anyone to understand
anything about the way I am
I’m never ever gonna justify
cause I just follow my purpose

even if you wanna see me fall
just try to make me I don’t care at all
no you will never make me waste my time
I’m gonna follow my purpose

jealousy is just another side of your defeat
a stone in someone else’s way is all you’ll ever be
you spend your life standing with your back against the wall
and soon you’ll be forgotten like a problem that’s been solved

you’re the poison in the water noone’s ever gonna drink
you’re acting like a prophet but your words don’t mean a thing
you’re the only one who pays attention to you when you talk
cause I know you don’t know anything at all

you can hate me
hate me
hate me
you will never bring me down
but you can try your best
you can hate me
hate me
hate me
you’re not the only one around
and I couldn’t care less

I know your thoughts before you speak
cause I remember every single time
you bothered me

say whatever you want to say
but I’m not gonna listen to a stone put in my way

you won’t get anywhere
you won’t get anywhere

you can hate me
hate me
hate me
you will never bring me down
but you can try your best
you can hate me
hate me
hate me
you’re not the only one around
and I couldn’t care less

I don’t need anyone to understand
anything about the way I am
I’m never ever gonna justify
cause I just follow my purpose

even if you wanna see me fall
just try to make me I don’t care at all
no you will never make me waste my time
I’m gonna follow my purpose

10. Dead Man’s Diary

Dead Man’s Diary

to those who love me
I wish you well
I’ll miss you more than I can tell

goodbye friends and family
sorry that I have to leave
keep me in your memories
as the man I tried to be

(dead dead dead and gone)
(dead dead dead and gone)

to those who talked behind my back
your lives will always be a mess

goodbye to my enemies
this is not your victory
I may pass and fade away
but all my thoughts they will remain

there is no exit on the road to hell
there is no happy ending in a dead man’s diary
there is no way to escape from fate
there is no shelter from the power of disbelief

there will be no legacy
but a list of things I never did
I’m the part of history
no one will ever tell

goodbye friends and family
sorry that I have to leave
keep me in your memories
as the man I tried to be

everything I dreamed of simply falls apart
where did I go wrong
how do I deserve to leave before I’m done

there is no exit on the road to hell
there is no happy ending in a dead man’s diary
there is no way to escape from fate
there is no shelter from the power of disbelief

there will be no legacy
but a list of things I never did
I’m the part of history
no one will ever tell

goodbye friends and family
sorry that I have to leave
keep me in your memories
as the man I tried to be
goodbye to my enemies
this is not your victory
I may pass and fade away
but all my thoughts they will remain

all that I leave behind is people
I once used to know
and all their unfulfilled expectations

I shiver as I think of all the things
I never said
and those I missed due to my hesitation

there is no exit on the road to hell
there is no happy ending in a dead man’s diary
there is no way to escape from fate
there is no shelter from the power of disbelief

there will be no legacy
but a list of things I never did
I’m the part of history
no one will ever tell

goodbye friends and family
sorry that I have to leave
keep me in your memories
as the man I tried to be
goodbye to my enemies
this is not your victory
I may pass and fade away
but all my thoughts they will remain

11. Ghosts Without A Voice

Ghosts Without A Voice

the sound of steps behind our backs
we’re scared and used to it
somebody’s watching us
just like they always did

we’re used and scared of it
we’re scared and used to it
we never made a move
but change is overdue

we don’t know when this began
but we will make it end

we will be standing tall
we will fight till we fall
when the dark men come for us
till we hit the ground and the very last breath
fills up our lungs with dust
we won’t run from the men with guns
and we won’t believe their lies
we will fight back and reveal the truth
even if they take our lives

they meet behind our backs
they beat the truth to death
in hopes that we forget
that we are still oppressed

for all the times we’ve been ignored
for all the wars we didn’t want
we’ll finally take revenge
and put this to an end

we never really had a choice
cause we were ghosts without a voice

we never really had a choice
we were just ghosts without a voice

we’ve had enough
we have had enough

we will be standing tall
we will fight till we fall
when the dark men come for us
till we hit the ground and the very last breath
fills up our lungs with dust
we won’t run from the men with guns
and we won’t believe their lies
we will fight back and reveal the truth
even if they take our lives

we have had enough
we have had enough
we have had enough
we have had enough

we never really had a choice
cause we were ghosts without a voice
we never really had a choice
we were just ghosts without a voice

All songy by Black Lilium. Lyrics by Flix Highfield.
Published by Edition Warpkern (Progressive GmbH/Bosworth Music GmbH)